'packmates'
by jessie swink
Some people might think machine
We are effortless in our movements, after all
Synchronizing with one another, easy as breathing
Our movements are reflections of the other
But no machine feels as we do
Nothing powered by oil and grease could match
Nor ever begin to compare to us
We are emotion itself, feeling and reaching
Unstoppable as a hurricane
Perhaps we are more like a force of nature
After all, something higher calls us together
My mouth cries the words ‘family’ and ‘friendship’
But alone they aren’t enough
Something stronger ties us together,
Something more than human words can capture
Things like ‘pack’, ‘spirit’, ‘soul’, they come close
But above all, we are simply more
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
And I'll do anything to see it through.
You’re well-renowned for your skills, although some might scoff and claim that they’re totally natural. However, you know that whatever your talents may be, you’ve worked hard to perfect them over time. That being said, you DO have a fair bit of natural talent and there are things that you’re able to do that other people never could. There’s likely something about you that sticks out as abnormal, but it’s such a common make-up of who you are that people hardly ever bring notice to it. In fact, people probably use it to identify you often. You also have relatives that might have similarities to you, but at the same time, are totally different. There is no doubt you fit in with them, but your behavior is notably seperate.When it comes to manipulation, you can be particularly devious and even hurtful. Generally, your manipulation, while not noticeable on the surface, is very direct in its intent. You will manipulate for those you love, in order to seek revenge for them, or for your own selfish reasons, although you don’t often do so without just reason. Similarly, if you suppress anger or any other vivid emotion, you can become dangerous in your reactions to others. It isn’t unlikely for you to lash out in such a state, usually without the intention to harm. You are simply running off of some emotional high and it has to be released in some form or fashion. Such casual, if not extreme, destruction is easy to spot in those closest to you, because it is so unexpected. If it continues too long, it’s likely that you’ll slip into an ‘unhealthy’ state, where you are full-on aggressive.
When it comes to relationships, you prefer large groups to socialize inside of, although you really only attach yourself to one or two people. You firmly believe in companionship and encourage the idea that a group is far stronger than any one individual, if working together. Within your group, once you stir their anger, you can often command massive amounts of damage, should you chose to do so. More often than not, however, you and your friends are relatively peaceable and you don’t display a lot of territorial aspects, except perhaps towards those select few special people. You are, however, prone to holding a grudge against someone and you don’t quickly forget it, taking opportunities to snap at them whenever you get a chance to subtly do so.
You’re unexplainably attracted to the idea of some things, or to some people. It isn’t something you fully grasp, you simply ARE. You aren’t very difficult for others to put up with, due to your general, easy-going nature. Even if you can be roused into excitement with little effort, you do not require it and you do just fine on lazy days as well as fast-paced ones. However, god forbid anyone touch a sensitive topic of yours. It’s very likely that they’ll get a mouthful from you and should steer clear of you for a while.
All in all, a PIKACHU soul is FRIENDLY, PROUD, and CONTROLLING.
Be back later, guys, settling as a pikachu nao. <:
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
But I believe in whatever you do.
((When I was around seven, my dad bought me an electronic pikachu toy for a birthday present. It was THE thing for poke’mon fans (aka little nerds like me) to own at the time. I still have it to this day. It’s probably my most prized possession, which may sound slightly ridiculous, but its importance has only climbed since that day. I love activities like this, so forgive me if I go on a bit.))
I won’t try to philosophize, I’ll just take a deep breath
And I’ll look in your eyes. This is how I feel.
There isn’t much I remember before meeting my Jessie. Darkness, mostly. Or perhaps that’s not true. There were faces through the plastic, but they were blurred. Voices too, but they passed over me. I had crispness back then that I don’t quite have now, but crispness is overrated, in my humble opinion. And then, one face swam in. Not my Jessie, she wouldn’t come until later, but another that I would come to recognize with time. I was removed from all the voices, from the harsh light – but I was placed back into darkness. There were voices, yes, but they were muted (it wouldn’t be until later that I would learn that I was inside of a closet) and in the droll shadow, I waited. I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly, there was light again. I was moved – moved, and passed into her hands. You see, there wasn’t much of a meaning to my life before I was in hers. Before then, I was nothing more than an object on a shelf, the real meaning of “inanimate”. But beneath her fingertips, I came to life.
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine,
Do you know that your love is the sweetest thing?
I began to discover all sorts of things about myself in her care. My appearance, it would seem, wasn’t proper. I wasn’t like the Pikachu from the TV shows that she liked so much. The marks on my ears were too round, so she made them jagged. There was, apparently, a lack of hair on my forehead – that, too, was drawn in, since I couldn’t grow it. But those things weren’t important, not really, although I felt guilty – I wanted to be perfect for her. Because that was my job, my life’s goal now, to comfort her and offer her solace. Oh, and to be beside her during her adventures. She was young then, you know, and that meant that everything was an adventure. Heck, I was young then too. And if she could bring me to life, then it was through her eyes that I saw the world. There were countless battles we tackled. I was given a name then, too. “Pika”, while it seemed simple even then, was the one I was blessed with, and everyone came to know me. At first, it seemed like I was just another toy that she took with her places, but as I lived in her eyes, others began to see the life in me too. Rather than “I guess you can bring your stuffed animal with us”, it became “Pika can come as long as you don’t lose him”. I became a part of the family. I would learn that the face that was the first clear one I saw was her father. He would tease us about how inseparable we were, but it was light-hearted. He was one of the ones who knew I was alive.
I’m feeling like a newborn child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
A lot of time has passed since I first entered my Jessie’s life. It began as physical adventure, those days when I was always in her arms. It eventually faded into a time where I didn’t often leave her bedroom, although there always was (and still is) a place that I fit perfect beside her in her sleep. Still, I had my own adventures. It was through her eyes that I had came alive, after all, and it was her mind that would give me my own exclusive world this time, in the pages of her writing. And that’s not to say that I didn’t still go places with her or provide reassurance. Certainly not. If she was ever going away from home, I was tucked either in her arms or into a bag. And my fur has been stained again and again with tears. Every time she’s had her heart broken, she’s held me close for comfort. When she was afraid, I was her safety. When we lost her dad, we both ached inside. Her pain is my pain, her warmth is my own. And it’s a nice place to be.
I won’t try to philosophize, I’ll just take a deep breath
And I’ll look in your eyes. This is how I feel.
There isn’t much I remember before meeting my Jessie. Darkness, mostly. Or perhaps that’s not true. There were faces through the plastic, but they were blurred. Voices too, but they passed over me. I had crispness back then that I don’t quite have now, but crispness is overrated, in my humble opinion. And then, one face swam in. Not my Jessie, she wouldn’t come until later, but another that I would come to recognize with time. I was removed from all the voices, from the harsh light – but I was placed back into darkness. There were voices, yes, but they were muted (it wouldn’t be until later that I would learn that I was inside of a closet) and in the droll shadow, I waited. I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly, there was light again. I was moved – moved, and passed into her hands. You see, there wasn’t much of a meaning to my life before I was in hers. Before then, I was nothing more than an object on a shelf, the real meaning of “inanimate”. But beneath her fingertips, I came to life.
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine,
Do you know that your love is the sweetest thing?
I began to discover all sorts of things about myself in her care. My appearance, it would seem, wasn’t proper. I wasn’t like the Pikachu from the TV shows that she liked so much. The marks on my ears were too round, so she made them jagged. There was, apparently, a lack of hair on my forehead – that, too, was drawn in, since I couldn’t grow it. But those things weren’t important, not really, although I felt guilty – I wanted to be perfect for her. Because that was my job, my life’s goal now, to comfort her and offer her solace. Oh, and to be beside her during her adventures. She was young then, you know, and that meant that everything was an adventure. Heck, I was young then too. And if she could bring me to life, then it was through her eyes that I saw the world. There were countless battles we tackled. I was given a name then, too. “Pika”, while it seemed simple even then, was the one I was blessed with, and everyone came to know me. At first, it seemed like I was just another toy that she took with her places, but as I lived in her eyes, others began to see the life in me too. Rather than “I guess you can bring your stuffed animal with us”, it became “Pika can come as long as you don’t lose him”. I became a part of the family. I would learn that the face that was the first clear one I saw was her father. He would tease us about how inseparable we were, but it was light-hearted. He was one of the ones who knew I was alive.
I’m feeling like a newborn child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
A lot of time has passed since I first entered my Jessie’s life. It began as physical adventure, those days when I was always in her arms. It eventually faded into a time where I didn’t often leave her bedroom, although there always was (and still is) a place that I fit perfect beside her in her sleep. Still, I had my own adventures. It was through her eyes that I had came alive, after all, and it was her mind that would give me my own exclusive world this time, in the pages of her writing. And that’s not to say that I didn’t still go places with her or provide reassurance. Certainly not. If she was ever going away from home, I was tucked either in her arms or into a bag. And my fur has been stained again and again with tears. Every time she’s had her heart broken, she’s held me close for comfort. When she was afraid, I was her safety. When we lost her dad, we both ached inside. Her pain is my pain, her warmth is my own. And it’s a nice place to be.
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it.
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
I think I'll do three people. Just because I can't pick between three, because all three have been there for me when I've needed them.
Iris -
She's the Joker to my Harley, what can I say? I'm the outgoing, buoyant one and she's the quieter, plotting one. She picks who we're going to kill and I grab the hyenas and say LET'S GO DO IT PUDDIN'. It's how we ~roll~. She REVS UP MY HARLEY, VROOM VROOM. Haha. <3 We've done a crapload of crazy stuff together as well. Between random, spur of the moment drives to places and MILKSHAKES to 99 RED BALLOONS, it's been an insane ride for us. <3 <3 <3 We're fighting to find our place in this so-called REAL WORLD and we're not quite sure what to do with it yet, BUT GOSH DARNED IF WE AREN'T GONNA FIGURE OUT! She's the Joker to my Harley, as I said earlier, the Calvin to my Hobbes, the Cat to my Dog, the PUPPY to my PIKA (HAHA), (similarly) the Persian to my Raichu, the purple to my blue, the Kikyo to my Kagome. Calvin to my Hobbes because she's more snarky than I am (haha, ilu), the Cat to my Dog because duh, the Puppy to my Pika because stuffed animalllls <3, the Persian to my Raichu because duh, the purple to my blue because they're similar but not the same, the Kikyo to my Kagome because INUYASHA REFERENCE PLZ.
Maria -
"You set my soul free like a ship sailing on the sea." <3 My Mariaaaaaa. I want to sing that to her every time I call her Maria, haha. I said in my status earlier all the "blanks" to my "blanks" that she is, SO YEAH. THAT'S WHAT SHE IS. A bunch of those are almost... Inside jokes. Inside meanings. She's the Hatter to my Hare because... Well, she's obviously the Hatter (I bought her a hat once that was the Hatter) and I'm the Hare because Jon is always the Hare in our RPs. She's the 'Dee to my 'Dum because of an Alice in Wonderland poem I wrote once for her. She's the Vulpix to my Raichu because DUH HELLO SHE'S A VULPIX and I guess I'm a raichu because raichu fits me better than pikachu, even if pikachu is more my icon. :'3 I guess she's technically more the Ender to my Ali. Salaam, my friend. <3 And DUH on the Alice to my Jon because HELLO. IF YOU KNOW US YOU UNDERSTAND THIS. She's made comments lately about feeling connected to deer, so that explains that, because I'm obviously a wolf, and she's the Maria to my Todd in more ways than one - ourselves, but alternately, and from our first ever Sweeney Todd roleplay. <3
Jake -
I'll bet he wasn't expecting to be slapped onto this list. That's kinda the reason he is being slapped on this list. I can't think of a single time I haven't been able to call Jacob and rant/cry/just whatever. I can call him for any reason, whether it's to rant about someone who's irritated the crap out of me, to cry because I've been hurt, or just to be like HEY THOUGHT I'D CHECK ON YOU. He's at the hospital right now (idiot doesn't know how to be careful grrr) because he hurt his shoulder, but hey. He's like the best big brother I could've ever asked for and he's my packmate in all ideas of the word (even down to the also-being-a-werewolf part ;3). I know that I could pick up the phone and call him if I ever needed him for anything and that's amazing to me. I cherish that. There aren't many people who would do that for me. Or put up with me almost every night for weeks on end because I'm upset and let me cry and just LISTEN and yet STILL offer input if he thinks something needs to be added. I don't know what I'd do without you, bro. <3
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
I think I'll do three people. Just because I can't pick between three, because all three have been there for me when I've needed them.
Iris -
She's the Joker to my Harley, what can I say? I'm the outgoing, buoyant one and she's the quieter, plotting one. She picks who we're going to kill and I grab the hyenas and say LET'S GO DO IT PUDDIN'. It's how we ~roll~. She REVS UP MY HARLEY, VROOM VROOM. Haha. <3 We've done a crapload of crazy stuff together as well. Between random, spur of the moment drives to places and MILKSHAKES to 99 RED BALLOONS, it's been an insane ride for us. <3 <3 <3 We're fighting to find our place in this so-called REAL WORLD and we're not quite sure what to do with it yet, BUT GOSH DARNED IF WE AREN'T GONNA FIGURE OUT! She's the Joker to my Harley, as I said earlier, the Calvin to my Hobbes, the Cat to my Dog, the PUPPY to my PIKA (HAHA), (similarly) the Persian to my Raichu, the purple to my blue, the Kikyo to my Kagome. Calvin to my Hobbes because she's more snarky than I am (haha, ilu), the Cat to my Dog because duh, the Puppy to my Pika because stuffed animalllls <3, the Persian to my Raichu because duh, the purple to my blue because they're similar but not the same, the Kikyo to my Kagome because INUYASHA REFERENCE PLZ.
Maria -
"You set my soul free like a ship sailing on the sea." <3 My Mariaaaaaa. I want to sing that to her every time I call her Maria, haha. I said in my status earlier all the "blanks" to my "blanks" that she is, SO YEAH. THAT'S WHAT SHE IS. A bunch of those are almost... Inside jokes. Inside meanings. She's the Hatter to my Hare because... Well, she's obviously the Hatter (I bought her a hat once that was the Hatter) and I'm the Hare because Jon is always the Hare in our RPs. She's the 'Dee to my 'Dum because of an Alice in Wonderland poem I wrote once for her. She's the Vulpix to my Raichu because DUH HELLO SHE'S A VULPIX and I guess I'm a raichu because raichu fits me better than pikachu, even if pikachu is more my icon. :'3 I guess she's technically more the Ender to my Ali. Salaam, my friend. <3 And DUH on the Alice to my Jon because HELLO. IF YOU KNOW US YOU UNDERSTAND THIS. She's made comments lately about feeling connected to deer, so that explains that, because I'm obviously a wolf, and she's the Maria to my Todd in more ways than one - ourselves, but alternately, and from our first ever Sweeney Todd roleplay. <3
Jake -
I'll bet he wasn't expecting to be slapped onto this list. That's kinda the reason he is being slapped on this list. I can't think of a single time I haven't been able to call Jacob and rant/cry/just whatever. I can call him for any reason, whether it's to rant about someone who's irritated the crap out of me, to cry because I've been hurt, or just to be like HEY THOUGHT I'D CHECK ON YOU. He's at the hospital right now (idiot doesn't know how to be careful grrr) because he hurt his shoulder, but hey. He's like the best big brother I could've ever asked for and he's my packmate in all ideas of the word (even down to the also-being-a-werewolf part ;3). I know that I could pick up the phone and call him if I ever needed him for anything and that's amazing to me. I cherish that. There aren't many people who would do that for me. Or put up with me almost every night for weeks on end because I'm upset and let me cry and just LISTEN and yet STILL offer input if he thinks something needs to be added. I don't know what I'd do without you, bro. <3
You know it's all the same, another time and place.
It's Wednesday and the day I've been looking forward to the most out of this week? Why, you ask? I've met this guy that I find to be pretty interesting. I love finding interesting people. :D He seems pretty fascinating and the kind of person I'm going to truly enjoy getting to know.
I don't know how much it says about my life that this is what I've been the most excited about all week. I'd like to say it makes my life awesome, because I can look forward to something so simple all week. And still have a really nice week, all in all.
Dunno.
Song that I heard today that fits my mood:
you gotta be bad
you gotta be bold
you gotta be wiser
you gotta be hard
you gotta be tough
you gotta be stronger
you gotta be cool
you gotta be calm
you gotta stay together
all i know is that love will save the day
I don't know how much it says about my life that this is what I've been the most excited about all week. I'd like to say it makes my life awesome, because I can look forward to something so simple all week. And still have a really nice week, all in all.
Dunno.
Song that I heard today that fits my mood:
you gotta be bad
you gotta be bold
you gotta be wiser
you gotta be hard
you gotta be tough
you gotta be stronger
you gotta be cool
you gotta be calm
you gotta stay together
all i know is that love will save the day
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Somebody else gets what you wanted again.
There are nights where I hurt. I don't like to hurt because it says to me that somewhere inside me, I'm weak, and the only times I've ever been hurt are the times I've been weak.
It sucks to wake up one day and realize you can't love someone anymore.
It sucks even more when you realize that ending something so suddenly like that is going to leave scars on your heart that must be healed by someone else.
But what sucks the most is realizing that your scarred-up heart now needs to be protected more than anything else and it makes it 10x more difficult to find the person to help you cure it.
It sucks to wake up one day and realize you can't love someone anymore.
It sucks even more when you realize that ending something so suddenly like that is going to leave scars on your heart that must be healed by someone else.
But what sucks the most is realizing that your scarred-up heart now needs to be protected more than anything else and it makes it 10x more difficult to find the person to help you cure it.
And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits ya.
Switching up lyrics. Anyone who knows music will recognize that the lyrics before this have been "3 AM" by Matchbox 20, who are probably my favorite band, although I like other independent singers. Like Taylor Swift, who is taking the next position. It's "Change" by Taylor this round and this song is probably a good as one as ever.
So, this past summer had me abruptly falling out of love, which is something I had mentioned in some blogs before this one. Wanna talk about some rose colored glasses... Man, I think I had rose-colored CONTACTS. :'3 But all is well now. There's been some fighting patches, but when it comes to life, I'm a fighter. I'll fight for what I want and what I need. In this case, I needed to be free again. We'll see if another guy comes along. In the mean time, I'm enjoying not having a collar 'round my neck again.
I'm obviously in college now, for anyone who cares about my life. :'3 If you're reading this and you don't care about my life, then wtf are you doing reading it anyways? Shoo.
I have literature classes and communications and dance and yaaaaah, it's great fun, even if it is the Community College. I kinda like Community College better, there isn't as much responsibility, still a fair amount of freedom, and waaaaaay cheaper.
So nyah on you haturz.
So, this past summer had me abruptly falling out of love, which is something I had mentioned in some blogs before this one. Wanna talk about some rose colored glasses... Man, I think I had rose-colored CONTACTS. :'3 But all is well now. There's been some fighting patches, but when it comes to life, I'm a fighter. I'll fight for what I want and what I need. In this case, I needed to be free again. We'll see if another guy comes along. In the mean time, I'm enjoying not having a collar 'round my neck again.
I'm obviously in college now, for anyone who cares about my life. :'3 If you're reading this and you don't care about my life, then wtf are you doing reading it anyways? Shoo.
I have literature classes and communications and dance and yaaaaah, it's great fun, even if it is the Community College. I kinda like Community College better, there isn't as much responsibility, still a fair amount of freedom, and waaaaaay cheaper.
So nyah on you haturz.
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